IFI stands for Idiot From Idaho!
I waited on this till now cause I knew the IFI was going down, but he just hadn't figured it out yet. That senator couldn't make up his mind if he was guilty or not, even after he plead guilty. Then he goes on to say he was wronged at the MPLS airport and that the police set him up. I don't know about you guys, but I don't think MPLS airport security make a habit of setting up senators in a gay-sting operation. I'm thinking they are more in tune to watching out for guys in robes carry strange bags of stuff.
Or are they the same thing? Humm Maybe I should think about this!
Anyway, from now on when I go to the airport and have to use the mens room, I'm going to make sure I stop taken my meds, so that my feet don't stomp into another stall, or that I have to hang on by holding the bottom of the stall walls or peak over one to see if it is empty..
As a final note on this topic, I have to take you all down another one of my money making angles for this topic.
You all are aware of the way carts are rented at airports? This is were you slip fifty cents into a slot and a luggage cart is released for your use. Then when your done, you can put it back and you get a quarter back.
Of course I am a FOR_PROFIT type of guy, so here is my plan on making a million dollars in 6 months or less.
I'm going to rent baseball bats at the MPLS airport. What I will have is a rack of bats placed outside of all the mens restrooms in a machine much like the carts. If your passing by and feel the need to use the john, then you can place the 50 cents in the slot and “walla” a bat is released. If you return it then you get 25 cents back. Again just like the carts.
Then you can go into the mens room with safety bat in hand. To make your time more enjoyable I will have stenciled on the bat-- Game Rules.
Now your scratching your head as to what I mean by “Game Rules”. The game is in place of reading a paper, plus the game is for your safety.
Here are the game rules.
If you see feet tapping in the next stall and heading your way, you can hit their big toe with the bat, its a hit and you made it to 1st base. If you hit any other toes then you swung wide and must stay for another pitch.
If you see a hand sliding along the top or bottom of your cube, and you can hit and sting no more then 3 fingers it's a triple play. If you accidentally break a finger then you have walked the player and because the Idiot will want to get disability and it will cost us all. This could also be considered a swing and a miss.
If you see someone peaking into your stall and you tap him back to his side you have stolen a base cause he will have been dazed for a short period and not able to stay with ya. . I mean these guys are getting bold now and you have to get their attention to stay in the game. If you put them back into their stall completely sitting on their own john then it would be considered a hit with bases loaded.
If you see a guy doing all 3 things and you have tapped his head to get his attention. Then make sure you finish your duty, exit your stall quickly and tap the guy again and again. This is because he is obviously a Senator from Idaho and you will never get his attention unless you swing multiple times. This would be a Home Run!
Of course you are limited to 3 swings unless one is to the guys groin. We would call that a fly ball!
By the way you get a free hotdog for point 4 and the right to keep the bat. Otherwise return the bat to the rack so others can play the game while at the MPLS airport.
Happy Flying
Now don't get up in arms that I would sanction a violent game like this. Keep in mind that the bats I would rent are the little souvenir bats given away at ball games.
Later
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